dreaming about my dad

i have noticed that during pregnancy i feel a greater connection with my dad and i miss him more.  

recently i had 3 dreams in one week about my dad.  in all of the dreams he was alive at this present time.  the first dream he was with us taking ever on her first trip to disneyland.  the next dream he was working with brandon.  then the last dream which seemed so real i could swear it actually happened he was teaching ever to ride a horse.  

(pictures of pictures from my scrapbook.  my dad working with my horse whisper.)

the scene in my dream was very much like these photos except my dad had a little bit of a beard and ever was on the back of the horse.

it is always a bittersweet thing to have dreams about my dad.  on one hand i feel like it is a way for him to visit me and for us to communicate, which is so special.  on the other hand it is hard to wake up to reality.  luckily after each of these dreams i felt more peaceful than sad.  i say it is because of the heavenly bond the twins i'm carrying share with their grandpa. 

there are a couple pictures of my dad around the house and ever always points to them and says grandpa.  she kisses the pictures or says sweet things.  one day as i was buckling her into the car she told me she wanted to go see grandpa.  to which i replied...me too.  if only it were that easy.

    as i was looking for the pictures of my dad and whisper ever noticed a couple others in my scrapbook like  this one of my dad as a child.  i've never showed her this picture before nor have i told her who it is of but she knew.  she pointed to the picture and said grandpa then kissed the picture. 

this is a picture ever has seen multiple times before and when she saw it in the scrapbook she squealed then grabbed the page to stare at it.

i am glad that ever has a connection with her grandpa, i just wish he was physically here and i could witness his relationship with her and his soon to be other two granddaughters.  i have been wanting to name one of the twins after my dad in some way but i kept changing my mind about what middle name fit.  finally on friday i figured out a name that feels like a perfect fit.  so it seems our two girls have first and middle names full of meaning which makes me happy.  i most likely will not share their names with everyone until they arrive.  it is fun for it to be a surprise, besides they have already had so many different names in they last few weeks.  i'd hate to share the names today then change them 5 more times before they arrive.  but really i'm pretty certain the names we have in mind are the ones we will keep (besides baby a and baby b, for now the twins will be known as f and o).  i look forward to seeing what kind of connection to their grandpa f and o arrive with.