her little hands

i've always had a thing with hands...it is one of the first things i notice about people.  
ever's little hands are my most favorite in the world.  
when she doesn't have them covered with mittens to prevent scratching her face off i find myself obsessing over her hands and holding them.  
to me this picture says that she needs me and i need her.  
tuesday i realized just how true that statement is.  
i was required to go back to work for at least one day after being out on leave and tuesday was the day.  
in a way it felt really good to be out of the house going about my usual old routine but at the same time i felt like a fish out of water.  i was so confused all day.  i tried not to cry as i left ever at home with will.  luckily she did really well so it made things much easier for me.  now if i could just figure out how to have her behave for me the way she does for her dad.  i felt slightly emotional about saying goodbye to the people and place i've known for the last 15 years but then i felt really happy knowing that i'll be home with my little girl since we both need each other. so many mixed emotions about closing one chapter of my life and opening a new one. 


ever's first hike

we took ever on her first hike today up at our favorite trail.  well actually she was on the hike before but that was when she was still locked up in my belly....this was her first time experiencing it outside of the womb.  she was so adorable all bundled up and cozy in the carrier.  surprisingly she calmly slept for more than half of the time...3ish miles or so.  after she woke up and had a diaper change in the woods she was happily awake for the remainder of the trek.  i know what we will be doing a lot of in the future.

it's not easy getting a picture of the three of us

i couldn't resist taking a picture every time i looked down at her...best view in the world.

for her good behavior she was rewarded with a dip in the big bathtub next to me....that mermaid of mine was amazed by all of the extra water.


my little mermaid

will and i were just discussing that if ever is awake 90% of the time she is cranky.  we try all sorts of things to soothe her but the one thing that really seems to work is giving her a bath.  

she really loves her tub time.  she doesn't even get mad when i dump water on her head to wash her balding head.  
it is pretty entertaining to watch her splash around while she smiles and makes cute noises.  
future swimmer?  
i think so.  
i am now convinced we need a pool in our backyard so this mermaid of mine can really do her thing.


my new job

meet my new boss...
she can be pretty demanding and difficult but she pays quite well with smiles and love.
after almost 15 years at the hospital i am moving on to be at home with this little girl.  it was pretty strange telling people at work that i wouldn't be returning.  well i go back for one day next week and then i'm done.  i have always wanted to be a stay at home mom so this is basically a dream come true.  it feels a little odd because it is such a big change from what i have known for so long but i am very happy to have this new job of mine.


walking around the neighborhood

on april 15th ever had her first walk around the neighborhood.

now this is part of our daily routine.  lately she prefers to be in the carrier right up next to me rather than in the stroller.  i prefer it that way too because having her attached to me in the carrier reminds me of being pregnant which i actually sometimes miss.  never understood when people said that while i was pregnant but i totally get it now.  i look forward to the day that we explore past our streets and take her up to the mountains on our favorite hiking trail. 


from hospital to home

this is the day she came home with us....april 4th. 
i don't realize how much she has grown until i see these pictures of her so tiny.   
nurse gwen and will took off all her don't steal me tags and such.
then my mom got her dressed in this outfit.  originally i had picked a hello kitty outfit for her trip home but since she was so tiny i went with this other one that i stumbled upon at target just a couple weeks before she was born.  i thought it was so adorable for some reason and couldn't leave the store without it.  
good thing i got that tiny newborn outfit because most other things i had in mind like the hello kitty outfit have yet to fit since she is itty bitty.
at this point she was basically saying....enough, i'm tired of being messed with.
i'll never forget just how miniature and fragile she seemed in her carseat.  good thing dr. taylor happened to be there when we were buckling her into the car that first time because we were pretty clueless about how it should all be.  now we are experts.
ever was not a fan of her first car ride.  i sat in the back with her trying to keep her happy but she screamed the entire time.  
it was so strange walking into the house with a new person that would be living there.
a transition for us and the kitties too but now it is all so normal.  i can't imagine her not being here.
after her being fussy for a while that first night at home we figured out she was hungry.  i was terrified to give her a bottle thinking it would ruin breastfeeding so i syringe fed her while my mom held her.

that first night at home was not easy but luckily will took her for the majority of the night so i could get some much needed rest.  it is funny to think how lost and unsure we were with her then.  now we have a better idea of what to do to soothe her and how she likes things.
what a learning experience it has all been.  
i am happy that this new little loved addition is in our home.


black and white beauty

all of the pictures of our little love came in the mail last night. 
i adore our photographer for catching amazing shots like this...well that and the fact that she is just really cool.  you should have seen will and i scanning through the images yesterday.  we were ridiculously excited and said the most mushy things about our little ever.
i am still amazed that i'm her mom.  

the best nurses

before having ever i had not stayed in the hospital at all during my life. 
i was super nervous about being in the hospital and i worried about which nurses i would have. 
luckily i won the nurse lottery during my stay. 
my day nurse was gwen.  
here she is with ever.  she was very calm, gentle, and knowledgable.
she was in on the c-section and she was the main nurse to care for ever once she arrived.  
i couldn't have asked for a better person to care for us during those first hours and days.
i actually remember telling my mom and will that i missed gwen after we left the hospital.
she made the hospital feel like home.   
since i was so lucky to have a great day nurse i was certain i wouldn't be as lucky with my night nurse but i totally was.  richelle was my night nurse.  i have known richelle since the beginning of grade school.  we were good friends growing up.  my very first slumber party as a child was at richelle's house.  we had remained friends all the way through high school.  after high school life got busy for both of us so we didn't exactly stay in touch but when we happened to see each other it was always pleasant.  i was so thrilled that she would be taking care of us.  she was so wonderful to all 3 of us.  one night ever was really upset and i couldn't calm her down.  i was so exhausted.  richelle came in and offered help.  she took our girl for a little bit so we could get some much needed rest.  i wouldn't have felt comfortable enough to hand ever to just anyone but i knew she would be well taken care of in richelle's hands so i was able to relax.  richelle showed us how to do the ultimate baby burrito wrapping and she explained many new mother things to me.  she was so sweet, genuine, and gentle.  i really loved having her as my nurse and i missed her once we left the hospital. 
i have already decided that if/when we have another baby i'll have to make sure these two lovely ladies are there to take care of me.


hearing test and the skull fracture

foxy lady!

this little lady had to go get a hearing test today.  when she was in the hospital after birth they weren't able to do the hearing test on her like usual because of the skull fracture.....apparently since there was an abnormality to her head the machine wouldn't give an accurate reading.  she can hear just fine as i suspected. 
notice her red face.  it seems she is dealing with a little infant eczema.  it looked worse than this over the weekend but after putting a few creams on her face it is healing up and i'm so glad.  poor girl made me sad with her rash face.
  now back to the skull fracture...i am happy to report that it is healing on its own just as the doctors said it would.  as her head has been growing the dent seems to be popping out.  when i look back at pictures i am reminded of how deep the dent was and now you can barely tell.  just over the last week it all the sudden began to disappear.  all of this healing that is going on with her brings some real relief to my mind.  
now if we could just figure out how to get ready to go somewhere without it being such a huge production.  i started to get ready at 9:30 this morning for our outing to the doctor at 2:45pm.  thank goodness i did because somewhere during the process ever went into complete meltdown mode (as i knew she would, hence the getting ready way early) and nothing would soothe her.  i spent more than an hour trying every trick in the book to calm her down but nothing helped.  as i buckled her into the car she was still crying and her cries were what i listened to driving to and from the hospital.  i get anxiety listening to her cry like that...not fun.  just when i think we are getting the hang of things she proves me wrong.
ever you fussy little girl it's a good thing i love you so much.   


the latest

kung fu


an outdoor bath just for fun.

i call this her praying mantis