nights with ever

nights around here are a mix between hilarious and frustrating.  ever has a very hard time giving up the fight and going to sleep which can make things frustrating.  but at the same time she can also be extra funny and full of giggles which makes for the hilarious portion.  last night she thought everything i was doing was something to laugh about which had will and i cracking up and forgetting we were exhausted at 1am.  three nights ago she was doing her usual wild refusal to sleep as i was talking to will about some stuff that has been weighing heavily on my mind.  as i was letting out my sadness and worries in the form of tears ever looks at me with the most peaceful expression as if she was telling me it would all be okay.  our eyes locked for what seemed like minutes and the love radiating between the two of us was almost palpable.  i squeezed her and kept repeating how much i love her and how smart she is.  we had a moment.  now when we have the nights where she isn't being so funny and giggling like crazy but rather crying and fighting me i reflect back to our moment and i can't help but ride out her wild time with a smile.  ever truly is such an amazing little person and i love that i am her mom.  we understand each other.


a different costume and fascinating legs

some people may find this video a little boring since it is a minute worth of ever being amazed by her legs and kicking them.  i especially love around the 40 second mark when she looks up at me and gives the greatest smile.  she is very generous with those smiles lately and i love it.  since i think every single thing ever does is captivating....i love this video.  
we took this last thursday when i was trying halloween related items on her and brainstorming her costume since the bat one most definitely is a no go....too small.  i still plan on putting her in the bat costume and having a photo shoot in the coming days as we finish decorating for halloween.  it'll be fun for that but now i'm even more excited about her new costume.  i'm so tempted to post a picture but i don't want to spoil the fun so you'll see later.


tiny in many ways except one

once upon a time.....ever was tiny.
her cry was tiny.
her body was tiny.
but her personality....it has never been tiny.
this video was taken at about 3 weeks old.
she was trying to crawl way back then.

this video was taken at about 4 weeks old.
that growling/crying thing....
she still does it but it is much louder and intense.  
in fact she's been doing a growling, gargling, crying,
scratching, thrashing combination lately that is quite maddening and hilarious at the same time.
it tends to happen late at night or before a nap when she is really tired but not ready to give up the fight and go to sleep.
we really love our wild animal so much.  it amazes me when i look back at these videos and see she had that feisty thing about her even then.

p.s. i miss her being tiny so much it actually hurts.  i don't think i was able to fully understand or appreciate that time of her life and now....i miss it something fierce.  


my kickopotamus

this is one of the things ever loves to do lately. 
most often she does it in the morning when i say hello to her as she wakes up.  i get this kick, but a much more exaggerated version along with a huge smile.  she also does it when someone she is happy to see walks in the room and sometimes she just does it for fun.  


a little bit about our weekend

our weekend went a little something like this.....
oh and if you follow me on instagram (skyewe) you'll see just how lame i am because i'm using pictures from there since i rarely carry around the camera anymore.
we did lots of relaxing when we should have been catching up on laundry and chores around the house...

we went hiking at our usual spot....
ever has a love/hate relationship with her carrier.  sometimes she'll relax in there and take a power nap which she did a couple times on our long hike but most of the time she is squirming and yelling to get out.  we all took turns holding her to save one another from extreme exhaustion during all the miles.
she really enjoyed when will held her like this because she felt the most free.

i was overjoyed that i saw and caught a horny toad.  
i'm like the horny toad whisperer.  
i always spot them on the hikes and although they run fast i can usually catch them.  
i really fell in love with this little guy and contemplated sneaking him home in my backpack.

at approximately 1 in the morning when ever was wide awake will made the observation that she resembles a glow worm.  i remember wanting one of those toys so bad when i was a kid.  in fact if i remember correctly my cousin lisa had one and she let me play with it and take it to bed with me one time when we stayed the night.  well now i'm lucky enough to have my own real life version.
not so related to our weekend but worth mentioning....
on thursday i had a much needed hair appointment.  nobody really told me about postpartum hair loss but i've been dealing with it big time.  i've always had rather thick hair and it's been long most of my life.  my hair was super long and luxuriously thick while i was pregnant.  i loved how it looked.  now my hair falls out so much i've wondered if i'll go bald.  i was feeling pretty sad about how thin and unhealthy my hair was looking so i decided cutting about 7 inches off was the only way to go.  i do have moments where i miss my long locks but this is nice for now too and at least i don't look so bald.  


today was....

a cupcake making
fingernail painting
admire every single cute thing she does 
kind of day.

one of my blog friends micaela did a cute post today about baby bumps and my former bump is on there along with several others....take a peek.


an important conversation

earlier i was having a conversation with ever.  i have adult conversations with her, although very one sided.  i was telling her how it amazes me that so much has happened since september 11th eleven years ago.  things have changed.  time has made painful memories slightly more blurry.  love happened and i gained  a husband then a daughter.  relationships that i never thought could be damaged are.  i told ever how eleven years ago i could have never imagined that i would have her to hold on this day and take care of, along with all the other unimaginable things.  while the world was in mourning that day i was in my own personal mourning, which began august 12, 2001 when my dad had a massive heart attack that ended up shipping him many miles away from home to phoenix via helicoper.  the magnitude of what had happened in our world september 11, 2001 didn't quite sink in for me until hours or maybe days after.  i knew it was bad but all i really knew is that when chaos broke loose i was physically away from 3 members of my immediate family and i longed to be with them.  one in nebraska.  two in phoenix.  while i was in kingman.  not to sound selfish but i was probably more wrapped up in whether or not my dad was going to stay alive another day.  he did live through that day and several more.  on november 13, 2001 i really understood what all of those families were feeling when they lost a loved one during the 9-11 tragedy.  and today i'm thinking of them as i tell my sweet 5 month old very important things.    


the cutest pumpkin

i have my first and favorite pumpkin of the season...
fall is around the corner and i couldn't be more thrilled about my favorite time of year, halloween, etc. being so near.
will picked up these pajamas last week because i requested ever have something festive to wear to bed.  
this year i'm especially happy about halloween because i have ever to dress up.
her bat costume is fitting as the weeks go on so i'm afraid it could end up being too small by october 31st but i really hope not.


leader of the pack

hey come here....i have to tell you something

you'll never believe it but....

i am 5 months old today and extremely happy about it.

oh and did you notice how my shirt says leader of the pack?
yeah well that is 100% true.
i am wild, demanding, funny, and my parents basically do as they are told.  i call the shots around here.  
my mom and dad just follow the leader.

to celebrate turning 5 months my mom took me on a hike with uncle brandon and yaya.  
i decided to be a real handful the entire time making it hard for everyone to relax and enjoy themselves.  
to keep me happy for a few minutes uncle brandon let me play with his hair.
i've decided  it is my new favorite toy.

until next time.