the anticipation

so hard to believe these pictures were taken a week ago yesterday.  one thing i kept telling will with this pregnancy was that i wanted to really soak up every moment, especially the day they arrived and during our hospital stay.  i wanted every tiny thing documented. with ever i was so nervous about staying in the hospital for the first time in my life that i stressed myself out and didn't live in the moment or document things like i would have wanted.  i had regrets after she was born about that.  my hospital stay with her turned out to be wonderful.  i had great nurses that put me at ease and there was nothing to worry about so this time i was determined to not stress.  the hardest part this time was being away from ever for two nights.  i had never been away from her like that so it kind of consumed my thoughts and made me emotional but when it came down to us leaving for the hospital at 5am on september 16th i really worked at focusing on the moment.
as we got ready ever woke up.  she must have sensed the excitement in the air.  i actually had a feeling she would wake up and she did around 4am....wide awake.....chatting about all sorts of things and being ridiculously cute.  
i can't explain how i was feeling in this moment.  i've always been in love with the anticipation of things to come.  for example christmas eve has always been amazing to me....those hours or minutes before any big event are magical.  this was the ultimate christmas eve and my 3 hours of sleep broken up by multiple potty breaks proved that.  like last time i was super thirsty since i couldn't have anything to eat or drink after midnight.  i didn't think i'd care about eating anything but i actually felt nauseated like i did often in this pregnancy if i hadn't eaten. 
in our true fashion we were running late.  we were supposed to be at the hospital by 5:15am.  ever was still awake when we left the house....now she was excited that yaya and papa kit were there.  i thought saying goodbye to her as she was awake would be hard but it was a happy moment.  as i got ready that morning she came to lay in our bed and she asked me if i wanted to cuddle up next to her.  i told her yes i did but i had to get ready.  she asked "oh you going to the doctor?" and i told her i was. i also told her she would soon be able to meet her baby sisters.  i'm not sure she fully understood what that meant but she seemed happy about it.  on the drive to the hospital will and i kept saying how weird it was that we were hours away from meeting our new girls and becoming a family of five.
i did have some nervous energy on the drive but as soon as we got to the hospital and i got hooked up to a monitor i started to feel peaceful.  i was relieved one of my favorite nurses from last time was the one to come in and get us prepared for all that was about to take place.  she asked me if i knew i was having contractions.  i didn't have contractions at all with ever so i wasn't exactly sure if i knew what they were but near the end of this pregnancy i thought i noticed some every once in a while.  according to the monitor i was now having them regularly about every two minutes.  once she pointed them out i recognized them.  good thing the babies were scheduled to come out that day because it seems as though they finally wanted out.  a few nights ago i actually told will i missed the contractions.  i missed watching the number climb on the machine as i felt the tightening sensations....strange but true.   
a few days after the babies were born i told will that as i was hunched over getting the spinal block in the operating room (something that wasn't entirely pleasant last time that i was sort of dreading) i stayed focused on the print on my gown.  i just kept thinking....they look like smiley faces...i'm fine.  and i really was fine because i had the most amazing anesthesiologist.  he made sure i didn't experience any of the unpleasant things i did last time.  
 will was my rock the entire time like he always is as i tend to be the nervous emotional one.  at this point though we switched roles.  i was totally calm and he was starting to get nervous about me going under the knife.  he also had happy nerves about meeting our little ladies.  i was just in the zone and feeling a bit relieved that my body didn't have to carry two humans any longer.  i never thought i'd miss it since it was challenging but in some ways i already miss being pregnant.  
things were about to get real as soon as will got suited up.
at this point i remember feeling tugging sensations and knowing we were about to meet fable and olive.  it seemed slightly like an out of body experience for me in a fascinating way.  i think a minute or two went by after will took this picture and we heard cries from our newest beauties....it all happened so fast.  


  1. I love your story telling abilities. I now can't wait to read your next post! :)

  2. So glad I was there that day! A special day I will never forget!


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