my connection with brulé

the past few weeks i feel that i've forced myself to be in denial about brulé being in heaven.  those first few days after her life on earth ended i felt everything and it was so painful.  painful physically and emotionally to grieve the loss of a best friend.  i've kept myself busy, which is easy to do with ever, and when i see pictures of brulé pop up on my computer or plastered around my house i kind of pretend that she is still alive and instantly force away the sad thoughts.  
last night i had a dream about brulé and for the first time in a couple weeks i am now crying again and feeling just how much i miss her.  it was such a vivid dream and reminded me of this one i had about her a few years ago.  brulé was vibrant and bouncing around, she seemed extra fluffy, extra gorgeous, and so incredibly happy.  in this dream it was the same as before that brulé and i had a conversation without speaking, we knew each others thoughts and understood them.  we were both overjoyed to see one another.    she ran to me and i sat on the ground and cuddled with her like old times.  i kept telling her that i was so glad she came to visit me.
you know that feeling when you have a dream that seems so real and it is so wonderful that you wake up believing it truly happened and you never want to let go of the memory of it?  that is how i felt when i woke up and i also felt sad facing the reality of the situation.  as much as i don't like the sadness i feel now i am so glad that my beautiful girl came to visit me.    


  1. Aww I'm glad Bru got to come visit you. We miss her too. :)

  2. I know that Brucie was visiting you, and that this was not the first time. Bru is the Sombra of the pack. I miss her and love her more than I can express :(


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