11.9.12

an important conversation

earlier i was having a conversation with ever.  i have adult conversations with her, although very one sided.  i was telling her how it amazes me that so much has happened since september 11th eleven years ago.  things have changed.  time has made painful memories slightly more blurry.  love happened and i gained  a husband then a daughter.  relationships that i never thought could be damaged are.  i told ever how eleven years ago i could have never imagined that i would have her to hold on this day and take care of, along with all the other unimaginable things.  while the world was in mourning that day i was in my own personal mourning, which began august 12, 2001 when my dad had a massive heart attack that ended up shipping him many miles away from home to phoenix via helicoper.  the magnitude of what had happened in our world september 11, 2001 didn't quite sink in for me until hours or maybe days after.  i knew it was bad but all i really knew is that when chaos broke loose i was physically away from 3 members of my immediate family and i longed to be with them.  one in nebraska.  two in phoenix.  while i was in kingman.  not to sound selfish but i was probably more wrapped up in whether or not my dad was going to stay alive another day.  he did live through that day and several more.  on november 13, 2001 i really understood what all of those families were feeling when they lost a loved one during the 9-11 tragedy.  and today i'm thinking of them as i tell my sweet 5 month old very important things.    

2 comments:

  1. That doesn't sound selfish at all. Of course you felt sad hearing about all of that, but it couldn't have possibly felt as real for you as what was happening with your dad did. I'm glad you have such a good little listener. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I remember that time when your dad was in Phoenix so vividly and my heart was so sad for you, your mom, and Brandon. It's hard enough to understand the gravity of a situation like that when you are young and far away from it. Throw in the fact that you are experiencing your own personal tragedy and it's almost impossible to grasp.

    What a great mama baby Ever has to teach her about the history of the greatest country ever. How people go through such adversity and we can still come together to help one another heal and rebuild. You keep having those conversations with her and before you know it she will be asking questions and giving her input!

    Ps. I love you my friend! Hope you have a great weekend :)

    ReplyDelete

i LOVE love so feel free to leave me some right in this box below.