valentine's day this year...

well it was a busy one.  it was a day full of getting fancy and rushing around like crazy.  it was a day that left very little time to celebrate exclusively with my valentines will and ever.  our celebration this year was on a large scale with over 300 people at my mom's wedding.

after a quick exchange involving love notes and tulips for me and ever from will.

i was on my way to oasis day spa to do my mom's makeup while ashley did her hair.  

i named myself and chummy ashley the glam squad.  

we had lots of fun making my mom extra glamorous.  

here is the finished product of our glam work.

after that i was rushing home to finish getting ready so that we could make it to the church before the wedding for pictures.  on the drive home i called will to let him know i'd soon be there.  he told me to stay out of the kitchen when i got home because there was a surprise for me.  a couple weeks ago for some reason i ended up telling will a story about how i always wanted a lite brite as a child but i never had one.  i told him of the time we went to visit family and my cousin had one...i was maybe around 7 years old at the time and i remember coveting her lite brite.  will thought my story was heartbreaking so without my knowledge he tracked down a vintage one and when i got home i walked in to find this message on my very own lite brite.  it was such a thoughtful surprise that really made my day. 

i enjoyed my gift for a moment and then ran around like crazy finishing my hair and makeup...getting myself dressed...getting ever dressed...shouting orders to will about what to pack in the diaper bag.  we were late to the church just like we are late to everything now.  luckily we weren't the only ones running behind so it all worked out even if i was totally flustered.  

i didn't manage to get one picture of just me and my mom.  i didn't see very many people i expected to see.  the ones i planned to chat with i didn't have much time to....just part of the deal because i have my sweet ever.  that night when we got home i was kind of sad that i didn't take as many pictures as i would have liked to and especially bummed that i didn't get one with my mom.  also i didn't want to be all paparazzi with the flash going off the entire time so my pictures are kind of dark but we can just say it was to enjoy the mood lighting.    

my mom looked really beautiful.

brandon is the number one walk down the aisle dude...he did that for me too.

ever was such a good girl despite the crowds of people getting all up in her face and her lack of naps plus i realized after it was all over that i think she is teething again.  she melted down after hours at the wedding/reception but up until then she was really sweet and cute and only slightly naughty.

during the ceremony the camera kept her entertained so there are a bunch more pictures like this.  look at those perfect lips.  

this is ever's paper eating face.

the happy couple's first dance.

only picture i got with brandon.  lets talk about brandon.  he wore a kilt and the whole scottish getup obviously and i think it was the perfect look on him.  i told him he should totally wear that all the time especially to fancy things and i told him he should for sure wear that when he gets married one of these days. i'm not kidding...i couldn't get over just how awesome he looked in that.  it was perfect.  he joked that he looked like the dad from the movie brave....which we laughed about....but he didn't.  

we made inappropriate jokes about this little pouch thing that was part of brandon's outfit.  

i was happy to see some of my most favorite friends and spend a little time with them.  we acted like kids and laughed like we always do when we get together.  

my mom and kit didn't shove cake in each others faces.  

ever loves her yaya and was not too happy that yaya couldn't spend tons of time with her but she completely enjoyed this moment with her.  

this was at the point they were having a toast and everyone was quietly listening...except ever.  i have a short video of her making noise i'll try to add at the end of the post.  

this is a new trick of hers...when i set her down she leans back to look at me and gives me the most perfect smiles.  

a great picture of devin and rita.

ridiculous pictures of brandon and nick.  

and right before we left after ever had ripped her headband off and had several crying spells i remembered the only picture of the 3 of us that night was one on my phone dr. taylor took to send to abby so i asked my mom to try and get a good one of us but it wasn't happening at that point with how exhausted ever was.

  

she says bruyay

friday night after we got home from our date my mom was showing ever a picture of our recently departed brulé on her phone.  ever clearly said her name several times but it sounded more like bruyay (in the same sweet high pitched tone she reserves for the kitties).  we almost couldn't handle how cute it was.  of course by the time we thought to record it ever wasn't saying it quite so clear but she did kiss her picture.  after that i was cuddling with ever and i asked her to say brulé again...which she did several times and then i asked her...where brulé was and ever responded with bye bye.  it certainly was a moment with my brilliant little lady.  the rest of the weekend any time she saw a picture of brulé on our computer or my phone she would say her name and sometimes lean in to kiss the picture.  i can't even describe how amazed i am by ever.  she shocks me all the time with the things she knows and says or does but this time i was even more surprised by her.  i'm certain at 10 months of age she already knows more than me.  

happiness in the sadness

just wanted to share a few happy things from the recent sad days.

i think in times of sadness you find out how much others love and care about you.  it is a beautiful thing to know you are loved and appreciated.  it is therapeutic to have people share tears with you and offer words of comfort.  

to any of you who have left sweet comments on here or instagram...thank you. 

to those of you who cried with me....thank you. 

to those of you who sent texts or called...thank you.  

to special friends who sent these beautiful flowers...thank you.

ever has been an absolute ray of sunshine during these dark moments.  i feel as though she has been extra sweet and extra funny...if that is even possible.  she is full of wisdom and joy.  she is a blessing.  

i felt the need to help dig brulé's resting spot.  i told will that digging a spot for pets was something my dad always did with me as i was growing up.  during those times when i felt devastated my dad would share his wisdom about life and death and bring comfort to my heart.  i asked will if he would help me dig.  he was honored to assist with such a task.  it was therapeutic to dig.  to be physically exhausted instead of just emotionally exhausted.  ever stayed in the house with my mom most of the time but she came out for a few minutes here and there.  one of the times she came out we discovered that she found it quite hilarious to see her dad swing a pick and break up the rocks in the ground.  her laughter was contagious and it provided a much needed lift to our spirits. 

i would be even more of a wreck if it weren't for will, ever, my mom, and brother.  we have shared the sadness and moments of joy which has been quite nice.

grieving

there are so many things i want to say and pictures i want to share to pay tribute to a beautiful life which was taken quite suddenly and way too soon.  my sweet brulé was relocated to heaven yesterday.  i don't completely know how to express myself correctly at this time.  i am a mess of emotions and practically nonstop tears.  one minute i feel like talking about it and the next i don't.  grieving is such a strange and personal thing.  i suppose when the time is right to share i will know and do just that but for now things might be rather quiet on this blog of mine.  

  

10 month old ever

i took well over 100 pictures of ever today like i do each month.  she is 10 months old today.  

as i was taking pictures i told ever that i wish she was the small baby who just sat in one place because she wouldn't sit still, it was lots of work getting these pictures but also fun.  as always it was nearly impossible to pick my favorites.  

she loves book so much....even when reading them upside down.

this one might as well be a baby picture of me.  i think i have at least one picture of myself around the same age with a similar expression and basically ever and i are twinsies.  

this is one of the many times she tried stealing the camera and expressed just how annoying she thinks i am.

i love how she looks like she has teeny tiny baby feet in this picture...can we just pretend she is a teeny tiny baby and not 10 months old already?  yes, that is what i'll pretend.  

at 10 month of age here are a few facts about ever.

*she has 4 teeth.

*she says several words on the regular including...mama, papa, boo, poop, kitty, pew pew pew while waving her hand in front of her nose (she learned this from me while i was changing her diapers), bye bye and she waves while saying it, hi, yay and she claps while saying that.  might be a couple other words i can't remember at the moment.

*she can cruise around the house really well, either by crawling or standing up and grasping things while moving around a room.  the other night she stood up from sitting position completely on her own and balanced for a couple seconds without holding on to anything.  

*she loves music and will sometimes dance.  she also thinks it is hilarious when i dance in front of her or while i'm holding her.  

*if will says "i'm going to get you" to her she squeals and laughs and hops in my lap or crawls super fast and then flops all over me.  it's become a favorite game around here lately that has all 3 of us laughing a bunch.  

*ever can climb on things.  i've caught her at least 5 or more times climbing up on various items around the house and then standing up on them sometimes.  she is a complete daredevil which means she has hurt herself a few times but usually she will cry a tiny bit then move on to the next adventurous thing.

*she seems to understand things quite well.  for example the other day she closed her fingers in the desk drawer.  it happened a couple times and now she opens the drawers but quickly pulls her hands back.  she also hesitates when we say the word danger to her.  

i'm certain there are other facts about ever that i'm not remembering at the moment but at least i write them in her baby book as they happen so we have that to look back at.  she is such a spunky fun part of our days.  i find myself always amazed at the things she knows or understands.  each day she learns something new it seems. 

 i have so much love for my beautiful smart little daredevil.