lunch with daddy

i get cabin fever pretty easily these days so i end up meeting will for lunch or sitting in my moms office for a couple hours once or twice a week.  it is a serious production getting ever and myself ready for an outing and making sure we have all we need packed up but it is worth it.  i managed to document one of our outings last week.  ever was happy to meet daddy for lunch and show herself off to lots of people at the hospital.  i've noticed i get anxiety when people crowd around to get a look at her or touch her.  mother bear all the way....i instantly get in defensive mode.

we stopped for a picture with my dads memorial brick.

i just realized that i'll end up posting things way out of order once i finally have time to catch up.  oh well....i'm sure it'll be nice to revisit ever's first days and the story of her arrival to the world.  believe it or not this little girl has been around for almost a month already.

the real story of being a mom

this whole being a mom thing isn't easy.  while it is a wonderful thing it is also a hard thing or at least it has been for me so far.  i would just paint the lovely picture (because there is plenty of lovely to paint) but i think it is important to be realistic as well. 

*i've never known sleep deprivation like this before.  i literally feel like a zombie 99% of the time.  ever pretty much refuses to sleep unless she is being held.  we have tried all sorts of tricks to make her comfy at night but on our chests is her favorite spot which makes restful sleep impossible. 
*breastfeeding....it has been tough.  i thought it would magically be easy because both of us seemed to get it right after she was born but after several days passed and ever was screaming from hunger and milk still wasn't really coming in we had to start supplementing with formula which broke my heart and had me crying for a week straight.  my milk supply is still really low for some unexplainable reason but i try feeding her as much as i can....unfortunately formula is her main source of nutrition.  i have tried everything to make it work.  met with a lactation consultant several times, took herbs, took a prescription, tried different things with my diet, you name it i've tried it.  our wonderful lactation expert still can't figure out why i'm not producing enough especially after all i've tried so i'm just doing the best i can and hoping that one miraculous day if i keep trying the milk will appear.  it may not so i'm also learning to let go and not cry about it all day.
*on the subject of crying i've never felt so emotional in my life.  these hormonal fluctuations mixed with the lack of sleep make me feel pretty sad and crazy at times.  luckily the worst of that seems to be over.  i was turning to all of my friends who are moms and they assured me that all i was experiencing was normal.  i just wish i would have had that memo beforehand so maybe i'd have been more prepared but i guess you can't really predict how it'll feel since everyone goes through things so differently.  once will went back to work after being home with us for the first two weeks i cried any time he called or text me.  same story when my mom called or text me.  i think they were afraid to talk to me because all i did was cry.
*we have noticed ever seems to be struggling with some colic issues.  it makes me so sad to see her sometimes inconsolable no matter what i do.  luckily with some adjustments to her formula that seems to be getting a little better. 

now that i got some of that out of the way let me tell you this...
yesterday i woke up so happy and in love with will for the following reasons:
*he took ever and kept her settled while i got a couple hours of extra sleep....sleep is like the most precious thing these days.  i can't even explain how precious it is to me.  side note....my birthday is in a couple days and my mom was asking what i wanted for my birthday.  my response.....an ambien (sleeping pill) and her to watch ever so i could get a full night of sleep.  everyone laughs when i tell them that but really it sounds like the best present to me.
*he also got to work on cleaning the house and catching up laundry.  when i finally did wake up to these glorious gifts i was told i wasn't allowed to do one bit of housework during the day because he was going to do it all. 
he literally was/is my knight in shining armor.

then to top it off my wonderful mom, who has been the most supportive angel over the last month, came over last night and happily watched ever so will and i could go on a date.  we were only gone a couple hours and during that time we kept talking about ever and thinking about her.  i didn't think we would miss her so much but after our movie we rushed home to be with that little crying bundle of love that we adore.

getting ready for our date.

one of the favorite faces she makes.

visiting my mom at work....she is the best yaya....we love her so much....i have a new level of love and respect for my mom.

our little ever.

instagrams of my little love

two current obsessions....

taking pictures of ever

instagram app (username is skyewe)

my loves

so much to post....so little time.  

lots of stories.  lots of pictures.

hopefully we figure out a better schedule soon. 

until then i just had to share this sweet photo of ever and her daddy.

i love them too much.

baby supermodel take 2

i think the picture says it all ♥

baby supermodel

i guess i didn't give ever enough credit.  i figured she was going to scream and cry and hate her photo shoot yesterday but she rocked it.  she was such a sweet little model.  i can't wait to see the rest of the photos....so far i'm in love with this one!

smiling for the camera

this might just be one of my favorite pictures of ever so far.  my mom happened to snap it on her phone the other night and i love how she caught a smile.  my friend erica is on her way from phoenix this morning to take professional pictures of our doll.  i'm hoping ever puts away her cranky pants and does some cute stuff like this. 

someone told her about us

 i am not a fan of crying so i tend to avoid it at all costs, but i can't seem to help it these days.  thoughts of my dad instantly have me in tears.  do i hate that he's not physically here to enjoy this new life with us?  of course.  do i feel that he already knows ever and she knows him?  absolutely.  i have always felt that he would be the one teaching her things before she entered this earthly existense and that the moment she left the spirit world to come to us would be a special one because my dad would be handing her off to us.  i'm certain he told ever a thing or two about his favorite people and it's part of the reason we are her favorite people.  the ones who she instantly bonded with and who she loves so much are....

her mommy, her daddy, her yaya (my mom), and her uncle brandon (my brother).

a week of ever

hi...i'm one week old today. 

flowers for the pretty girl

ever is so adored that she already got her first flower arrangement delivered to the house

and she was rather happy about it.

too bad the naughty kitties decided it would be a good idea to knock them over around midnight last night and ruin one of the prettiest flower arrangements i've seen.

i almost cried.

could be the sleep deprivation mixed with crazy hormones plus difficulty breastfeeding.

it's a good thing i have such a beautiful sweet little sidekick to keep me from losing my marbles. 

oh and a good thing my handsome sidekick went to clean up the mess. 

family of 3

exactly one week ago today our family of two turned into a family of three.

these are the first pictures of the three of us.

we never knew a little 6 pound being could bring so much love into our home.

my favorite easter gift

i can't imagine a better gift in my easter basket.

eyelashes, feet, and lips

i can't wait to share the story of ever coming into this world but since i'm doing this post one handed with a bundle of cuteness and hiccups in my arms i'll just share a few pictures.

i immediately noticed ever's long eyelashes.  all during the pregnancy i told will that i hoped she would get his insanely long lashes...looks like that happened.

this picture may not do her feet justice but baby girl has such long feet.  i have no idea where they came from because both will and i have small feet.  don't believe that her feet are giant?  well on the birth certificate her footprints don't even fit in the allotted space.  so adorable.

will and my mom kept talking about ever's big lips.  all the nurses in the hospital also made a big deal about them.  my mom calls them her angelina's. 

they are so kissable.