ever's party at yaya's

on sunday we celebrated ever's birthday at my mom's house.  ever thinks going out there is like going to disneyland because she loves seeing yaya and papa kit.  she loves the dogs.  she enjoys running all over and playing in the dirt.

we had a delicious dinner there.  we went for a little hike.  it was a fun evening in the mountains.  

unlike most 2 year olds ever thinks cards are just as interesting as presents.  i think she gets that from me.

among the many fun little items ever opened was her beloved chapstick.  there is this all natural chapstick that i love and use but it never fails that ever gets a hold of the pricey stuff and ruins it.  she has destroyed at least 3 tubes of mine and maybe a couple of my moms.  my mom got her a tube of her own and i think that was what she loved most.  she was so appreciative of every little thing like always.  giving ever gifts is so fun because she genuinely adores anything that is given to her.  the chapstick barely left her hands for the rest of the evening.    

playing in the wagon, opening and closing the gate, investigating the garden...ever loves all things outdoorsy.

hiking with her beloved yaya and papa kit.

she kept saying "chop chop mama!"

steinway

buddha

see the chapstick is still in her hand.

she likes to rub will's beard and say "oooh soft"

she likes to stop and smell the roses or pine trees.  if we are on a walk in our neighborhood she tries to trespass into every yard to smell plants or weeds in empty lots.

the times my mom wasn't in her sight on the hike she kept yelling for her.  she loves that old bat.  something we affectionately call her...not sure she appreciates it.  i started that but i never knew ever would actually use it.  she likes to repeat everything.

the cutest moment of the night was when she covered her face and had a shy smile while we sang to her and then she blew out her candle without any effort at all.  we repeated the process at least 10 times at her request and we all laughed at how delicately she blew out the candle each time.  

this is her serious face while watching what she calls the "scary part" of despicable me 2 (the very beginning).

here you can witness her delicate way of blowing out a candle.  

she has asked to watch this and every other video i took that night so many times.  she loves watching "bideos"

finding out about the twins!

first a few things worth mentioning before i share the details of that moment......

i have really neglected this place of mine.  i did the same thing when i was first pregnant with ever because i didn't feel well at first.  also i wasn't ready to share the news right away but it was what constantly consumed my thoughts so i didn't know what else to talk about.  this time around i have felt way sicker for much longer.  i lucked out and only felt bad for about 3 weeks with ever.  i loved being pregnant with her and knew i could easily do it again if the experience was just as pleasant.  i kept thinking maybe i had a boy in there this time and that was why i felt so different.  very early on in the pregnancy i joked that i might have twins in there because i was already noticing my belly growing which didn't noticeably happen until around 17 weeks or later with ever.  everyone told me that with the second pregnancy you show much earlier but still i was surprised at my expanding waistline.  i was a little over 7 weeks along when i had my first ultrasound.  we saw a heartbeat at that visit but only one heartbeat and one baby.  i was relieved.  i was certain twins would be more than i could handle.  although one baby was confirmed with that ultrasound i still had moments where i thought about twins and mentioned them.  i also noticed them more than i ever had before.  it was like i knew even though i didn't really know...some part of me did anyway.  funny fact: the day before our most recent ultrasound will and i saw a couple with twins and i said....i'm so glad we aren't having two babies at once...that must be so hard.  everyone who knows us knows that ever was a very challenging baby.  she liked to cry a bunch, she didn't like to sleep much at all, she didn't eat very well.  the sleeping and eating is something we are still struggling with from time to time.  she was nothing like babies i'd known throughout my life.  she hated being a baby.  every milestone that gave her the ability to move more and express herself more she became easier to handle.  our pediatrician predicted very early on that she was one of the babies that didn't like being a baby and she was so right.  she progressed so quickly and has always exceeded the common milestones for her age.  she is still very determined, fiery and smart.  that is just ever and we love her for it.  i think we misunderstood her at first but her intense spirit is what we adore most now.  i've often wondered how i will handle ever and a newborn but i kept telling myself that this baby would be a calm one and ever would enjoy having a sibling so it would work out just fine. 

tuesday march 25th i was excited to go to my ultrasound appointment.  my mom kept ever while will and i went to see our new addition on the big screen.  i don't think i can adequately describe the moment....the moment where we learned there was more than one baby in there.  it was like everything was in fast forward and slow motion at the same time.  it was like every possible emotion flooded both will and i at the same time.  nan (ultrasound tech) put the wand on my belly and then took it off real quick and smiled.  in that split second view i knew instantly what i saw....two babies.  will didn't notice it but nan quickly said something like....so you know you are having twins right?  all i remember is will hugging me and us both having tears in our eyes then we kept laughing.  we were so shocked!  immediately my thoughts turned to the expense of two babies.  we had already talked about how nice it is that we won't have to buy all the big stuff again like a crib, car seat, etc.  i decided there wouldn't be a need for a double stroller either because ever isn't big on riding in the stroller.  we knew if we were having a girl we'd be set clothing wise so basically the biggest expense would be diapers.  i also thought about how i'm not even sure 3 car seats will fit in our vehicle.  we never imagined twins would be part of the equation.  i pushed the stressful thoughts out of my head right away and told myself we are obviously meant to do this and it'll somehow work out.  i completely enjoyed watching two little babies dance around on the screen.  they were both so active.  we all laughed and joked that there were two more ever's in there because she was the ultimate wiggle worm in ultrasounds.   watching them move around and then having nan explain everything about baby a and baby b was so magical and intense.  she tried to determine gender but it was still too soon.  it's possible we could even have one girl and one boy in there because they are fraternal twins.  

one thing that genuinely made me sad about having two babies at once was the thought of not being pregnant again.  pregnancy and becoming parents is something both will and i enjoy way more than we thought we would.  we always talk about how sad we will be when that chapter of our lives closes.  our master plan originally was to have two children.  after ever was born we decided three would be our limit.  now i'm not so sure i can handle the idea of only being pregnant approximately 6 more months then never again.  we just decided we can't say for certain how many children we are going to have.  so much goes in to a decision like that and i guess we will cross that bridge when we come to it.  we may have 3 children, we may have 4.

after hugging nan and collecting the pictures of our two babies we had the obstacle of getting to my mom before letting anyone else in on the big news.  basically everyone in that office is extended family for us and sharing this moment with them is special.  the second we walked into the hallway a couple of people asked to see pictures.  i told them my mom had to see first as i held in giggles.  we walk in to my mom and i had it all figured out.  i'd show her this picture first....

which clearly shows two babies and i'd see if she would pick up on it.  

i showed her the picture and she didn't pick up on it so i showed her the rest which were labeled either baby a or baby b.  she still didn't pick up on it.  then she said i feel like you are trying to tell me something...does baby b mean that it's a boy?  finally i said mom there are two babies in there, we are having twins! 

she freaked out!  i can't remember all that was said but i know she started yelling and hugging us and it was just a crazy moment.  ever wasn't keen on all the yelling and excitement.  she looked worried and then she said...mama freak out?  poor girl was confused so we had to try to tone it down a bit.  we went around the office sharing our news.  dr. taylor was shocked he didn't see both babies at the first ultrasound.  we were all just excited and shocked and it was a celebratory moment like none other.  

i couldn't focus on much of anything the rest of the day.  i called friends and family members to share  the news once i got home.  later at dinner i kept telling will that i couldn't believe we were going from a family of 3 to a family of 5 instantly.  it was all we could think about or talk about.  that evening my nerves set in when i googled facts about twin pregnancies.  i started to worry about the risks and possible complications.  i wondered how giant my belly would be.  i was just stressing out.  i text my mom to tell her i was scared and she sent me a text back with the most beautiful inspired words that made me cry.  now that some of the shock is starting to wear off i'm getting a little more used to the idea of twins.  i know that while many things seems impossible at the moment it'll all work out just fine.  something that really brought a smile to my face was feeling movement for the first time yesterday.  before i knew there were two babies i thought i felt the slightest bit of movement last week but i dismissed it thinking it was too soon.  i guess with two in there it is possible though and yesterday without a doubt i felt little tiny wiggles throughout the day.  it is one of my most favorite things about pregnancy.

so there you have it...the story of how our lives changed more than we could have imagined in a single moment.       

     

two beating hearts

you know what is really neat? 

 i have two hearts beating in my body this valentine's day.  

there is my own of course and the heart of a tiny baby.  although it is so hard for me to hold in news like this i intended to wait a little longer.  apparently my mom had other plans.  yesterday after an ultrasound where will and i saw that tiny heart beating, i all the sudden started getting texts from people saying congratulations.  i was so confused about how everyone knew and then i found out my mom decided to go ahead and post the news on facebook without saying a word to me about her grand idea.  i couldn't really be mad because it is happy news.  she had already known for a few weeks and i guess it was just killing her to wait any longer.  so there you have it...the secret is out.

we are excited to become a family of four in september. 

     

octopus

if you are in the market for a super cool octopus throw pillow, tote bag, or art print go here.

2/52

portrait a week 2/52

running to the car so she can go to church with yaya.

  

i seem to have misplaced my camera (ever probably took it...she usually does)

so for now phone pictures are as good as it gets.

1/52

i really enjoyed the portrait a week thing i did last year because it was so fun to watch ever's progression week by week.  it is not until i look back that i realize just how much she changed over the year.  

so for 2014 here is week 1/52.

ever happily pouring water and splashing around in the bath while i admired her mega lashes.

thoughts into actions

during 2013 there were moments i always want to remember and some i want to forget.  i don't think any year can be summed up as good or bad.  there are years of my life that stand out as better ones or worse ones but amongst the bad there is always good and vice versa.  most of the time when a year stands out as better it was when i worked harder to make that way.  when i worked towards goals and achieved them.  when i stayed optimistic (something that typically isn't easy for me).  sometimes i think it is silly how much emphasis is put on a new year and making goals yet there isn't that same enthusiasm as the year goes on.....that very thing tends to keep me from wanting to follow the crowd and make resolutions.

a few days ago i made a point to write down the things i'd like to work on and achieve this year.  although it seems so cliche i've found that when i write my goals down i really do have more success with them.  especially when i make a point to revisit them and track my progress.  i told will that one year stands out in particular where i worked towards changing things in my life and as soon as i worked hard on one of the goals the others fell into place quite easily.  i hope the same happens this year.  i tried to think of a phrase to keep in my mind when working towards my goals for the year and the thing that stuck was....

turn thoughts into actions.  

it is easy to think about things i'd like to change or wish for things to be different but until i act on my thoughts it simply will not happen no matter how much i wish it would.  

i might share my goals another day.  i'm not sure if i want to.  i shared them with will and he shared his with me and that might be all the sharing that happens.

in this picture you see my journal [from here], ever's journal i keep for her (she contributes in the form of artistic scribbles), the journal i started for will on our anniversary in november [other journals from target].  he has a matching one he keeps for me.  we try to write a little short and sweet snippet every day and on our next anniversary we are going to exchange them.  we sort of failed at writing every day for the month of december but one of our goals is to get back on track in the new year, so we are.  

can you tell i'm passionate about the written word?

happy 2014 ♥